Bullies Deserve Compassion as Much as Their Victims

 

    When people talk about cases of bullying, everyone realizes that the person being bullied is a victim, because it is obvious, but what is not so obvious is that the bully is also a victim.  Bullies are often overlooked in these scenarios, and are seen as the problem, when in reality, the problem is much more complex than someone deciding that they will be rude.  Oftentimes, bullies are living in broken households, suffering from mental and physical abuse from their parents, or were never truly taught how to act.  

    There are many factors that act to contribute to someone growing up into a bully.  These factors always stem back to the parents, as they are the root of the person’s long-lasting behaviors.  One example could be that the person’s parents had divorced, creating a split household, which is an emotionally damaging environment for anyone to grow up in.  This can often cause people to become more easily provoked and overall, more aggressive, especially if they are under the impression that it could be their fault somehow.  This type of behavior can also be created in people after their parents had abused them, because it causes them to think that violence is somehow the correct way to express themselves.  Another prominent reason for people forming bully-like tendencies is because the parents never took the time to stop their aggressive behaviors when they were young, allowing them to grow up without repercussions for their actions.  It is very important to understand the reasons that cause people to act out as bullies, because it is a common misconception that people who are bullies do it because they "like" to do it, or because they are a bad person. That just is not true, though, because no one is born a bully.

    While it is true that the Bible says that no one is born "good", and that we all have an innate human nature that is evil, this does not mean that everyone does evil things just because they have it in their nature. God has given all of us a conscience that works to tell us right from wrong, good from evil, which means there must be external factors influencing people to act as bullies. People are never born as bullies, instead they are created. Usually, they are made when their parents neglect to properly discipline them, allowing them to run rampant, until it eventually becomes the norm for them.  At that point, the person knows nothing besides their mean and hurtful behaviors, which makes me say that they really are a victim.  If you do not care enough about someone, your child even, to make sure that they do not grow up into a bully, then you are the problem.  

   There is much evidence to believe that bullies are impacted just as much by their own behavior as their victims.  Psychology Today, a credible site that focuses on the psychology behind human behaviors, has found that bullies, similar to the literal victims of bullying, are also at more risk to depression, developing anxiety and panic attacks, suffering from agoraphobia (the fear of leaving home), and have higher suicide rates.  As well as these life-altering effects on bullies, they also often have trouble understanding people's emotions, and will misinterpret facial expressions and social cues.  

    Some might object to this idea that bullies are victims in their own right, saying that anyone who is a bully has free will, the same as the rest of us, meaning that they chose to bully others and should therefore not be looked at as victims.  While it is true that it ultimately does come down to each individual's choice whether they will bully or not, the blame cannot be placed entirely on them, because some people are products of their upbringing and were led down the wrong path from the beginning.  And when taking this into consideration, it becomes easy to sympathize with these bullies, since they are suffering too.  Not only this, but in Matthew 5:44, Jesus tells us to “Love thy enemy”, showing that we should never cast hate upon people who are bullies, only love, and that we are meant to try to help them.

    In conclusion, I think that it is important to realize that bullies are victims too, even though they may seem like the problem. Doing this makes it easier to put yourself into their shoes and understand what they might be going through. Understanding the underlying issues that cause people to be bullies can help fix those problems, and eventually contribute to making a healthier environment overall. Everyone deserves compassion and love, despite their past; Jesus proved this when he came down from heaven in human form and died on the cross for all of our sins, becoming the perfect sacrifice that was necessary to allow us the opportunity to go to heaven too. We need to follow his example, and show compassion to everyone, even bullies, because Jesus would have done the same.