How To Control Your Anger and Simultaneously Improve Your Problem-Solving Skills

How To Control Your Anger and Simultaneously Improve Your Problem-Solving Skills

 

Source: Superpuppy64 via YouTube

We've all been there. Hot-headed, red-faced, wanting to punch the problem in the face until it goes away. Anger is a natural human feeling that can be seen in every stage of human development. Unfortunately, as we all probably know, acting out of anger scarcely yields a solution to the problem. Fortunately, there are many ways to control our anger and find a better solution. By far, the best strategy among these is to simply step back and breathe before rationally attempting to solve the problem. By doing so, you can counter the intense grip that anger can have and, at the same time, find better solutions to the problem at hand.

Studies have shown that emotional stimuli, such as anger, can greatly influence decision making. Perhaps it is easier to understand with simpler instincts, like hunger. These types of emotional/visceral states also serve to limit the attention paid to other considerations (e.g., concern for others).  When a person is hungry, they will eat. Why? Because hunger is uncomfortable by design. Since we need food to stay alive, our bodies created a way to remind us of when we need to eat, which we call hunger. In addition, that same feeling when we continue to deny ourselves food becomes increasingly unbearable. Eventually, we give up whatever we are doing in search of food, to appease this feeling.

Anger acts the same way. The feeling usually builds slowly, until we are uncontrollably focusing all our attention on fixing whatever is bothering us. As you most likely know, this can often lead to poor decisions. Unlike hunger, however, anger is not a simple instinct. It is a much more complex emotion and often has various root causes such as fear or sadness, and solving the problem is usually harder than simply eating food.

Since the problem causing anger is often complicated, and anger tends to override our logical thought process, it is easy to quickly be consumed by rage. This can often lead to poor decision making, as you’ve most likely experienced. Perhaps you’ve broken something out of frustration or said something that you regret to a loved one. How would that situation have turned out differently if you had gotten your anger under control? In most cases, controlling that anger is not as hard as it seems.

So, what is the best way to control your actions amidst a strong disagreement? Well, by far the best way to keep anger from taking over is to avoid that point of no return in the first place. When you start to feel yourself getting frustrated, the best course of action is to step back and breathe. In doing so, you shift some of your focus from the problem at hand to a simple task. When you deny the problem the attention that anger wants you to give, you buy yourself some time to calm down. Now what? Well, using that time to breathe is the next step.

An article by Dr. Bullock states that “several brain regions linked to emotion, attention, and body awareness are activated when we pay attention to our breath.” By taking a few deep breaths, not only do you give yourself some time to relax, you also physically improve your mental state. Deep breathing supplies your brain with more oxygen, thus improving your own rational thinking abilities. When you apply this practice during a state of intense anger, you regain the ability to make conscious, intelligent decisions.

Of course, anger is triggered and managed by people in different ways. Some people might find it extremely difficult to resist the effects of anger, and this strategy takes practice to perfect. Some people might argue that they find listening to music or going on a walk to be a better way to manage their anger, and that’s ok. The key to anger management is to find a solution that works best for you and does not put other people at harm. Deep breathing is simply a popular exercise that many people suggest, as is evident by a simple google search.

Another valid argument would be that stepping back from a problem is not always a viable solution. Some scenarios require immediate action. In these cases, again, it is important to do your best to pick the option that brings the best outcome for everyone involved. Also, it is important to know that you are human, and will make mistakes. Sometimes, the best outcome is still a bad choice, and the situation just sucks.

At the end of the day, anger is, and always will be, a part of the human condition. It is a complex emotion that can easily get the better of you, if you let it. In its complexity, it takes many forms and can affect different people in many ways. The strategies that work for some people might not be applicable to others. In some cases, mistakes will be made. In general, however, the best thing to do in a heated situation is to take a few deep breaths. Only when you are calmed down and rational can you begin to make logical problem-solving decisions.