Is Their Mental Illness Hurting You?

 

We often interact with those facing the difficulties of mental illness. Our society has rallied in devoting time, energy, and resources to helping individuals who are diagnosed with mental illness. We rarely hear about the ways professionals assist those impacted by people with mental illnesses. The care and support provided by the individuals who are fighting for their loved ones to get better goes unnoticed and can have damaging effects. Family and friends surrounding individuals with mental illnesses are negatively impacted by the illness. Parents often carry the guilt and burden of caring for their child with a mental illness and become worn down.

In 2022 I conducted an interview with Isabel Vonstein who has dealt with the effects of her father’s untreated and unchecked mental illness. She stated that he lets his disorder run his life and has ruined many relationships with family members and close friends in the past. In our interview Vonstein stated, “I can understand what drives my father to lash out and behave the way he does but I don’t forgive it. Untreated mental illness not only negatively impacts/changes someone but everyone who once loved them. I have been able to set and maintain boundaries with my dad but unless he seeks help our relationship will never recover.” When reflecting on her fathers frequent outbursts.

Anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, eating disorders are a few of the many mental illnesses families battle. Clearview Treatment Center discusses the impact of children with mental illness on their families stating, “When a parent is unable to reason with a mentally ill child or get them to snap out of illnesses such as crippling depression, the parent may blame himself or herself. Parents of mentally ill children may feel confused, stressed and overwhelmed.” Clearview. The feelings of parents need attention and there are resources available to help them cope with their child’s mental illness.

The families/friends impacted by their loved one’s struggle can cope with their uneasy feelings in a number of ways. SAMHSA says, “Families should be open to the options of support groups or family therapy and counseling, which can improve treatment effectiveness by supporting the whole family.”, on supporting families through mental illness. Professionals are able to help families in group settings to understand their relative’s struggles in order to help them balance their symptoms. SAMHSA also stresses, “helping a loved one with a mental or substance use disorder can be taxing, so caregivers should take steps to prioritize their own health as well.” SAMHSA. Setting and maintaining boundaries is a healthy part of family relationships involving mental illness. Preserving your own mental health and wellbeing should be put above the needs of others no matter how severe their mental illness is.

Suffering from mental illness is not an excuse or scapegoat for abuse inflicted upon family or loved ones. Balancing medication can be an important factor in managing mental illness and maintaining or recovering relationships that have been previously damaged. Family members can direct and push those with mental illness in the right direction to help them receive the care they need. Reassuring that you love and care for them is a great motivator when debating reaching out for help. The American Psychiatric Association says, “For some people, it may be helpful to compare the situation to a general medical condition, like diabetes or high blood pressure. If they were having problems with those types of conditions, wouldn’t they seek medical care?” Psychiatry.org. Starting the conversation can often be tricky and knowing what to say or how to word your concerns can alleviate some of the pressure.